This article from psychcentral.com describes three ways we avoid being present with what's going and why they can create problems:
Wishing: When you wish upon a star ... Make a wish before you blow out the candles .. Throw a coin in the fountain and make a wish. "There’s probably no harm in wishing unless you find yourself constantly wishing life were different and experiencing a chronic discontent. Consistently wishing things were different is non-acceptance of what is. When you are wishing for life to be different you may be missing out on the life you have. In addition, for some people, wishing builds dissatisfaction and suffering."
Complaining: "When you complain repeatedly, you are focused on what you don’t like about your world." No wonder you keep finding more things to complain about.
Avoiding: "When you are mindful, you notice your fear and do not let it control you in ways that are not consistent with reality."
Try going for an hour or a day noticing when you are complaining, shoulding, or wishing things were different. Notice and bring yourself back to the present moment and reality. Acceptance is not about agreeing with the way things are; it is simply an acknowledgement that reality is what it is. You can accept what is and still work to change it.
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